Be A Better Husband…
Today, I wanted to share a 6-word acronym process that revolutionized my relationship with my wife and removed divorce from the conversation.
Here is the thing: all relationships have ups and downs. Yet, divorce is rampant in our society, with 41% of 1st marriages and 60% of 2nd marriages ending in divorce.
Relationships break up more than they stay together.
Man and woman are entirely different. Let's be honest, we men just don't understand the opposite sex's emotions, reactions, and feelings 100% of the time.
This frequently leads to arguments, damaged feelings, and views of one another that are so deep that neither person can move forward.
This is because men do not understand what women want.
Most Men:
Do not show intimacy, sex not included, to their wife.
Do not open up in conversation with their wife.
Always try to fix their wife instead of listening.
Do not treat their wife with loyalty and honor.
However, let's look at this 6-letter acronym that any man can use to improve their relationship focused on what women value most.
Here are 6 things your wife values most that, if used, will revolutionize your marriage or relationship:
Step 1: Closeness
Women value intimacy, and no, I'm not talking about sex (all the time). Women want physical touch and connection. This is achieved through handholding, hugging, kisses, caresses, holding one another, laying together, etc. Engage in these activities without the intention of having sex every week, and observe the resulting changes, including those related to sex.
Step 2: Openness
Now, this is a big one. Women value conversation and sharing. You must be willing to share your life. Talk about losses, victories, ups and downs, and even share your fears or worries. Sharing builds trust with your wife. She will love this. Open up.
Step 3: Understanding
Women want to simply be understood. They want to express themselves and have someone understand them. They do not want to be fixed. Men have a natural inclination to fix things, which often leads to misunderstandings. Don't try to fix her problems. Listen to her. Be patient before you give a solution. Try and empathize with her situation instead of fixing it. Watch what changes.
Step 4: Peacemaker
Be the peacemaker, often. Learn to say sorry quickly. Learn to say sorry sincerely. Understand that by doing so, you are the Alpha. You're taking control of the situation and dissolving it before it gets too big. She wants you to say, I'm sorry. Do it.
Step 5: Loyalty
Your wife wants to know you are committed. She needs to feel safe and secure that you aren't going anywhere. This means no jokes about her beauty, about divorce, or about your other past relationships or other women. These can be humorous to men, but they are truly damaging to her view of you providing safety and security. Do not do it. Show her loyalty through comments and actions.
Step 6: Esteem
Women want to be cherished. Much like loyalty, she needs to feel honored. Show her love and affection through flowers, gifts, and conversation. Demonstrate alone and/or in public your love for her with comments on her beauty, her actions as a mother/wife, etc. Your wife yearns for admiration and appreciation. Don't forget to do this.
And that's it!
These six areas, or words, form the acronym COUPLE and come from Emerson Eggerichs' book "Love and Respect." Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of marriage, parenting, and communication with over three decades of counseling experience.
I highly recommend getting the book to dive deeper into these topics. This process changed my marriage for the better, and my brother as well.
Use these methods and watch how your relationship improves. Until next time...
Stay Savage.